Surprise Surprise

A man that I went out with this weekend reminded me how much I like surprises.  Especially when the surprise is who or what a person is capable of being.  This guy was a commodities trader at a prop shop, so he went to work every day in gym shorts and a t-shirt.  We got to discussing how much fun it is for him to let the suits in the elevator treat him like a delivery boy only to receive a silent slap in the face when he gets off on his floor.  Surprise! A silly little thing...but got me to thinking.

I had drink on Friday evening with a dear old friend, R, and a brand new one, J.  The three of us had an absolutely fantastic time.  The point of note was a man who was attracted to J.  We entered the bar and made our way through the full-on after-work crowd to the counter.  This poor guy spent ten minutes standing aimlessly by while he thought of something to say. Finally, he came up with a comment about J's watch.  Something silly and trite and obvious.  We humored him for a few seconds and closed him out again.  He had what one might describe as a blue-collar face.  I am sorry to say, but it is true.  Very eastern European, with tattoos (on his arms not his face).  Not the kind of guy any of us would normally go for.  Turns out, he bought us a round of drinks -- all three of us.  And, while we looked around to thank him, he made himself scarce and didn't bother us.  Eventually, he did show back up again, but he made quick work of the conversation, told J she was beautiful and asked her to dinner.  He didn't want to interrupt our girls night out.  But he had to ask.  The surprising thing was not that he liked J, who is an exotic-looking Mexican beauty, or that he bought us drinks.  It was the level of his conversation, not only intelligent and capable, but politically aware, informed, and analytical.  Call us prematurely judgmental of stereotypes, but we were blown away.  When the awkward moment came during her hesitation to answer, R and I hardly knew what to say.  We held a private powwow during which we pondered what she was to do -- in the face of this completely unexpected and tasteful approach to asking a girl out.  He bought drinks for her friends.  He left us alone.  He surprised us with his political knowledge and insight.  He held down a good job.  He asked her to dinner and not just for her number.  Small things, all.  But somehow, they all added up into what can only be described as an indisputable conundrum.  The solution: she gave him her card.  But, the resolution is not as important as the point -- how much people can surprise you.  They can defy all stereotypes you have, even those based on actual experience, when you least expect it. 

And then suddenly, it seemed like my life was full of these little surprises -- the younger guy I went out with (I am almost philosophically opposed to dating younger men) who turned out to be confident, mature, and accomplished; the older guy that took me to a Dave Matthews Band concert and showed up in converses and ripped jeans (hot, but not what I expected from someone so stable); the douche in the BMW convertible who loved my fraise savage (frothy strawberry drink); the stranger who hit on my newly-divorced friend in a bar in Cleveland (where tribal tattoos and Affliction t-shirts abound) who turned out to be the perfect man for her (dynamic, gorgeous, ambitious, and witty).  But the surprises are not limited to just men -- the fact that my apartment has finally come together and is 10x better than I ever expected; the convenience store guys who cut my buddy a break when he found out his credit cards were stolen once he was standing at the cash register, lunch in hand; the guy at my corner bodega who knows that I want my water in a bag and my coke zero in hand; the Whole Foods checkout girl who makes me smile; the taxi driver who actually strikes up an intersting conversation; the rediscovery of an old favorite band, who ten years later are still amazing...small things that all add up to one big sense of wonder at how, while the big disappointments slap us around, the little surprises pop up in their midst, make us smile, and remind us that the world turns in our favor just as often as it turns out of it.

Some of the great little places my man-venture has taken me this weekend:

The Ten Bells
247 Broome between Orchard and Ludlow
This is a terrific wine and tapas bar in the Lower East Side.  It has two entrances, both of which are unmarked but easy enough to find if you are looking.  It was named after the bar in London at which Jack the Ripper found his female victims, and has a correspondingly European vibe.  Right down to having NO air conditioning.  But, the wines are good, the atmosphere is conducive to chatting, and the lighting is low.

Employees Only
510 Hudson between Christopher and W. 10th St.
This is a prohibition-era knock-off, with interesting cocktails and a decent wine selection.  They have a full range of the rarer ingredients, from fresh basil to egg whites.  I have had better "fancy" cocktails (a la Velvet Tango Room in Cleveland, Ohio), but these were still worth mention.  And the bar itself is a classic gathering spot, perfect for groups during the high times and a quiet date on an off hour.